The more nefarious kind of patronization is polite patronization. Unlike rude patronization, polite patronization is far more subtle and does not attribute any blame. The lack of blame attribution comes with assumptions the receiver of the patronization can not change what causes his faults. The patronizer believes the qualities of the receiving end are inherent and fixed. One can not blame someone for something they did not cause or for immutable characteristics, like height, hair color, and birth. People rarely blame someone for any of these attributes.
When patronization comes with blame, the patronizer believes the receiver can change his qualities, thus is worthy of blame. If the receiver brought his act together, he would not receive both condescension and culpability. People blame others for something they can change, such as behavior, etiquette, and morality. Although, the extent of these characteristics’ mutability is debatable.
The subtler patronization, when noticed, is met with backlash far more disproportionate to the subtle low expectations. Especially if the patronizer makes assumptions on limited information.
Despite the aforementioned reflection, not all polite patronization comes with an assumption of an inability to behave another way. The intent of the transmitter is just as if not more important than the receiver’s explanation. Sometimes the transmitter may lack sociocultural tact. Or perhaps the transmitter may have intended for an act to be received a different way.
Originally published at http://gregsoblog.wordpress.com on December 16, 2020.
